Name: Tamara Kapugedera
Age: 28 Years
What is the most rewarding part of being a mum?
I can’t imagine a life without my 3 boys. So the most rewarding part of being a mom is being their mom and the fact that there can only be one me, I cannot be replaced by any other person no matter what. I feel like I am an important part of their life; to watch them grow up is my reward.
Were all your pregnancies the same? How were each of them different?
All my pregnancies pretty much ran the same course. They were always hassle free and with no complications. When my 1st son was 3 months, I was already pregnant with my 2nd baby and by the time I found out, I had already completed 3 months of being pregnant!! So that’s how simple my pregnancies were.
On the day of my 2nd sons 1st birthday, we found out that I was pregnant again but even that, the 9 months just passed by easily, just like the other two pregnancies. The only difference was I had a bit of gastritis and the baby also turned out to have colic which was a new experience.
Having been a mum to a single child, then two and finally three, do you think it’s easier or harder to parent three?
I won’t say being a mom of 3 is easy, but I won’t say it’s that bad either.
In my case I had 2 babies in the same year (not twins) one in the beginning of the year and the other at the end of the year. So at the beginning it was difficult managing time wise. My elder son wasn’t even a year old by the time I had the second. One being a new-born and the other being a toddler, they both needed lot of attention and assistance in two different ways and both couldn’t be left alone when they were awake. Timings were very difficult to work around. . Eg: when the elder one was up during the day, the little one slept. As the elder one went to sleep at night, the little one stayed up! So basically I had to be up for about 21 hours a day.
There were advantages with the elder two being around the same age – my elder one did not have feelings of jealousy with my second one. He was not affected by mommy and daddy having another baby. So it was less tantrums and less attention issues. And later with time both grew up together.
Then with my third son, the elder two understood what was happening! No matter how much I prepared them for the new arrival, when they saw me with their new brother it was different to the last time. When they saw me holding the baby close to me; feeding him, trying to put them to sleep, running to him when he wakes up from his sleep or for his nappy changes, the elder brothers didn’t like it much. They understood more! They were both still under 3 years and it was difficult to explain to them that their little brother too needed me. That was the most difficult time I had to face in parenthood. Juggling a new-born and two toddlers who were less than 3 years and who could hardly express their feelings through words.
I was fortunate to get the help of my husband, my parents and the amazing help around me. With all their help everything fell in to place with time. But I must say having 3 boys who are too small to take instructions, who don’t understand half of the things we say and and figuring out their wants is difficult. It’s not easy and it’s all about being patient and calm.
As they grow older though, I notice they like the same kind of things and have the same kind of interests. So things are falling in to place.
What’s it like being the only female in a household full of boys?
Oh yes it’s a big mess being the only girl in the house. They dominate the house!!
I have too many responsibilities! I’m responsible for keeping the father’s toys safe from the junior boys and keeping the junior boys away from each other!
All I see around me are dirty walls, balls and bats, cars and bicycles, all the superhero characters and actions movies. But at the same time I enjoy the love, the care and the sweet comments they make and all the kisses I get from the four boys throughout the day. And I get to dress up and look pretty in the middle of them! I feel like a princess to have these 4 around me for the rest of my life.
How do you keep your little ones occupied after school and during weekends?
Every day is a different day. I don’t keep a planned out list of things to do, it all depends on their moods after school and when they wake up. That works out better than forcing them to do what they don’t like to do. Here are some of the things we enjoy!
- They are mostly in the garden (you can imagine what happens when you let 3 boys out there!)
- They play with play dough
- Read in the evening
- Take them out to a park or indoor play areas
- The elder 2 boys get a study time of one hour every other day
- And they get to watch TV
And mostly because their age gaps are so less they always find something to do together so they have each other to keep themselves occupied.
What is the best parenting advice you can give someone?
There is so much to preach about on this subject. Two of the best advice I have got is to take care of yourself as a parent and to communicate well with your kids.
It might sound selfish and also it’s difficult to do but we have to make time for ourselves first. Then we are in a better mind set, more refreshed and are more energetic to look after our kids. If parents are not happy and healthy how will they keep their children happy and healthy?
And I believe we should talk to them a lot after school or when we take them to bed. It’s important to ask them what they did and how the day was; if they liked what they did throughout the day. That way they get used to communicating with us and they get used to it even when they grow up. This way we could get to know their difficulties, their achievements, their dislikes and how they are facing the world.
Most of all just be your child’s best friend and everything else will fall in to place for them.
With managing kids, school and housework how do you manage to find time for myself and what do you do to relax?
I read to relax, also praying relaxes me a lot. I find time to do my work when they are in school and during their nap time I have a nap too. Mostly, I make sure they go to bed by 8pm so that I find time for myself and my husband.
How do you instil qualities like modesty in your children with their father being a famous cricketer?
They are too small to understand that their father is a famous cricketer. So they don’t get too influenced by that. My husband and I have been brought up to be modest and humble so it’s not going to be a difficult task.
Also if you get them to be close to God they will learn the best way to grow to be good humans.
Location: Tamara’s Residence
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