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The Lioness – Sharmilla Phillips

Sharmilla PhillipsName: Sharmilla Phillips

Profile: Sharmilla is a Speech & Drama Teacher for over 20 years, a Psychology Counselor and a Zumba Instructress. She is a bubbly and a positive character who has a healthy mind as much as the healthy life style she leads.

Here is her Interview, her story on how she survived the trauma of being a mother who was not able to see her babies.

Was there ever a choice, to make it better or ‘fixed’?

No. I simply didn’t have a choice between nature, circumstances and medical complications. I never blame anyone. Not me, not my doctors. I just simply accepted what I was given in this life time.

My first complication during my first pregnancy was called Cystic Hygroma. The baby grew normal, and in my 3 month’s scan (which was a normal routine checkup) showed some abnormalities. It showed high fluid retention behind the neck. It’s an abnormal condition and was shown as high risk. I was advised by a panel of doctors that I should medically terminate the baby due to the high risk of high abnormality. Also priority was given to the mother’s, my, safety.

Then when I conceived the second time, again my scan showed a highly complicated situation. It was called Exhaumphelous. This is where the baby’s intestines grow outside the body. No surgery could put them back in. Nothing could be done at that stage and again it was the same decision and being left with the same choice or rather no choice.

In both these situations, termination was done the natural way. I was given drugs. The worst experience of all was not the physical pain I had to go through. After the ordeal, the next day morning you can hear all the babies in the surrounding rooms crying and I was left without one in my arms to hold…. And I left the place empty handed.

After both the situations, doctors were confused as much as we were. The first situation was considered as a one in a million chance. And there was a positive hope for the second baby. Then the second time was also a one in a million chance. So after the second time we checked for chromosomes at a hospital in Singapore (caryotyping) to check for genetic problems. Strangely the reports came perfectly normal.

Then I realised if things were meant to be it will be. I can’t force nature. I also was not ready to go through the same heartbreak again in my life.

How did you manage the trauma and the stress?

My Sisters, Dad and my Husband were an amazing support.

I am human, I cried and released my pain. Being an optimistic person, I tried to see the positive side in life. Also I allowed time to heal all my problems.

When did you realize you have PCOS?

I didn’t know I had PCOS till I met my obstetrician. When I got married, just like a lot of others, we also didn’t want to have kids at once. We wanted to travel, enjoy and then get settled. When we thought of a baby, we went to see a doctor and the doctor advised us to do a routine checkup. In the check up I was told my womb is perfect but the complicated issue was PCOS.

What did you do to overcome the complications of PCOS?

You cannot overcome PCOS. But you can only overcome the complications the PCOS. For weight gain, high blood sugar and hormonal imbalances, for all those three my answer is to workout. When you workout you lose weight and you balance your sugar levels. Your hormonal levels are also controlled to a certain level.

What is your advice to someone who suffers from PCOS?

’Don’t let PCOS control you. You Control PCOS.’

What do you do to keep yourself looking good?

For you to look best you have to be happy and have a good heart. No workout could make a person look good if he or she is unhappy. I believe that make up cannot conceal your inner ugliness.

How do you manage to keep yourself busy?

Friends, Zumba, working out, my hobby of collecting cactus, gardening, playing with dogs and last but not least Facebook keeps me busy and occupied. I love the outdoors and nature. Camping, hiking and trekking are some of my favourites.

 

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